Quickly run through my story before going to adobe story.
1
-
The
circus is in town.
-
Jimmy
is cleaning the mermaid tank.
-
The
strongman Frank throws him in to the tank and says “you’d make a nice little
freak show of you own” Whilst flexing his biceps.
2
-
Jimmy
is cleaning the toilet.
-
Frank
pick up the cubical and shakes it with Jimmy still inside.
-
Jimmy
comes out soaked.
-
Frank
strikes a pose.
3
-
Jimmy
is mopping the floor.
-
Frank
trips his up and mops the floor with him (literally).
-
Feeling
sorry for jimmy, Mary the mermaid yells at frank telling him to stop.
-
We
see anger in frank face as he walks away.
4
-
The
next day
-
Jimmy
finds a letter with a map attached to it.
“Dear Jimmy
I will be waiting for you at sunset. This map will guide you to me.
Mary”.
5
-
Jimmy
gets there a sees frank in front of the tent.
-
Frank
says “enjoy your night with you eel girlfriend”.
-
Jimmy
looks inside the tent and see Mary tied up on a pole.
-
He
gets her down but she’s already dead.
-
This
trigger jimmy to seek revenge.
6
-
A
montage of the jimmy panning and making traps in secret.
7
-
Sun
rise
-
Frank
heads to his training space.
-
He
trips on a rope and a log swings down from the ceiling and knocks him out.
8
-
Frank
wakes up tied down on a table.
-
Jimmy
says “ you’re not going to hurt anyone again, and we need someone to replace Mary”.
9
-
“Ladies
and gentlemen we have a new addition to our family of freaks! I present to you,
FRANK the Man Eel.
-
Frank
is floating around in the tank armless.
Okay - I just don't think you should use the word 'eel' before the 3rd Act reveal - just have Frank kill the mermaid - I don't know, we see her hanging from a hook like an ordinary fish or whatever - I think the 'Frank, the Eel Man' needs to come as a horrid surprise at the end - you might also consider sewing Frank's legs together too (horrid, but he had it coming!).
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